To Fail Your Open Water Test
* Tell your Instructor you will race him to the surface.
* Lie face down and motionless while holding your breath.
* Spit in your wetsuit and pee in your mask.
* Your Instructor asks "You don't want to do the
buddy breathing because you have what?"
* You ask your Instructor which fin goes on which foot.
* You ask your Instructor if that was his mask under your
* You tell your Instructor there is no way you can lift a
cylinder with 3000 pounds of air in it.
* When asked for your dive plan, you hand over a bundle
of travel brochures.
Need Buoyancy Control When
* You rely on the silt trail you always stir up to find
the shot line at the end of the dive.
* You insist that you never wear fins because it makes it
more difficult to walk on the bottom.
* The only place you can hover is at the surface.
* On ascents, your entire body clears the surface of the
* You use 1000 psi for breathing and 2000 psi for your
* You are certain you went for one dive, but your
computer has logged three.
* You think being neutral in the water means that you
don't fight with your buddy.
Dive Buddy Hates You If
* He gives you the "wait here" sign and you are
still on the boat.
* He "forgets" to close your dry suit zipper.
* When you indicate you are low on air, he writes on his
slate "I'll get you some" and swims off.
* When you give him the out of air signal, he passes you
* You give him the "OK" signal and he gives you
* He spits in your mask for you, but you haven't taken it
* He shows up with a set of tables based on his own
algorithm "that's WAY better".
* He loudly proclaims that safety stops are for "wossies".
Scuba Steve ... Just a
- We do NOT conduct "cattle call" dives or "jammed-up"
guided reef tours or training classes
- (Sardines belong in a can on the grocer's shelf, NOT on
a boat or a dive site !!!)
- Our Kauai scuba dives are with smaller and more
comfortable numbers of divers traveling together
- You will learn more with our personalized approach to
- Our "Creature Feature" briefings are
interesting & exciting !!!
- Be sure to ask about our totally private tours and
Even if you have never tried scuba diving before ... you
can dive with us !!!